Hold the cow

Greg Wyatt • January 5, 2024

I played a brilliant family game over Christmas - Herd Mentality.

Have you heard of it?

The rules are that the family group answers a simple question from a set cards; the most popular answer gets a point.

If your answer isn’t popular you don’t get a point.

If your answer is unique, no matter how right or wrong, you get to hold the cow.

I’d find myself second-guessing what my wife and children were going to answer. Sometimes I’d get it right, sometimes I’d be unpopular and my children guessed the answer I would have given.

It got me thinking about how people think individually, and how those thoughts can be otherwise influenced when part of a group.

How people in a group might contribute and how that group might be steered, through understanding what will be popular.

How that might encourage ineffective behaviour when we want to appeal to the right person, not everyone.


You see it all the time, in real life.

The politician’s manifesto that wins them the vote, and mysteriously changes to suit their agenda afterwards.

We know it’s going to happen, yet we gamely follow suit as a society, even though as individuals we can see right through it.

And while we may feel this is acceptably unacceptable behaviour, many of us are guilty of the same behaviour unconsciously, by mimicking what we see as popular behaviour to fit in and be popular ourselves.

Influencer marketing and the fashion industry.

Crikey, I even used to follow football in much more depth simply because I knew that’s what others would want to talk about down the pub. It’s just not cricket.

It’s only when I found my people that conversations became less popular and more interesting to me.


How about social media?

Popular posts are typically those which engage pathos - our emotions - without logos (rational thought) and ethos (status and authority).

Think about all those super popular posts that actually mean nothing.

“Hire for attitude, skills can be trained.” “Dear Hiring Manager” “Salary on the job description” “Give people a chance!”

Vague enough that anyone can find meaning, and because

“Hire for coachable attitudes which complement culture, principles and values; skills above a clearly defined capability threshold can be trained”

… doesn’t have the same zing.

And we all like high engagement, because of that dopamine rush when those engagement notifications pop up.

Indeed, LinkedIn, increasingly driven by ‘AI’ rewards the behaviours that supports and drives these posts’ performance, while quashing legitimate conversation that contradicts acceptable popular opinion.


Look at the big influencers on LinkedIn and ask yourself “Where’s the money?” in what they are saying.

In a few cases, what they say doesn’t reflect their purpose, or even who they are.

Dan Price’s virtue signalling hid allegedly predatory, gaslighting behaviour.

Stephen Bartlett’s fortune, the one which makes him a legitimate business force, isn’t what he said it is.

Or is it? Who knows what’s true, especially when their opinions are popular enough to change the truth to an alternate fact?

We do it because of how it makes us feel, not because we think it’s logically or even factually right.

We then write in similar themes, because we hope it might be popular in the same way.

If everyone does it, it must be right!


But, if you agree that it is problematic being influenced to behave in a certain way because of popular opinion - why then do we do the same throughout recruitment?

Adverts don’t work! I’ve never got a job through applying!

It’s not the process that’s at fault, it’s a reliance on popular content.

Why do we copy what’s been done previously, or by others, rather than acting on what the situation demands?

Job descriptions and adverts which copy each other.

CVs tailored to copied adverts, with responsibilities copied from job descriptions.

It’s how things are done by most people right?

In copying others because of learned behaviour in how we are made to feel by popular content, we forget what our audience needs.

And if AI parses what’s out there to regurgitate the content you ask for, the popular opinion of copypasta content will most influence its output.

But how can any content be effective, unless you know what the right person needs from it?

Their combination of pathos, logos, and ethos, something known about for millennia.

More currently explained as head, heart and wallet.

What’s in it for the one?

Not an easy endeavour, but a key one for a key hire.

Easier just to do what you did before and then wonder why there are so few candidates.

At least you’ll be in good company.

Regards,

Greg

p.s. I’m working and looking for some unpopular recruitment to sort.

By Greg Wyatt August 18, 2026
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By Greg Wyatt August 11, 2026
What follows is Chapter 49 in A Career Breakdown Kit (Summer 2026) . It's like many other chapters in that I've tried to make it stand alone, yet it's deeply connected to the rest of the book. For example, if you accept your job search is equivalent to launching a product to market - where you are the product and your next employer the buyer - then a sensible strategy is also equivalent. You execute an appropriate multichannel sales and marketing plan, where you focus on the steps in your control, with considered action and follow up. An interview process is an ongoing negotiation, with each interview equivalent to a consultative sales meeting. And like any good sales professional, you know that the steps preceding, the steps in-between, and the steps after all have a part to play. In my last three offers these have all been contributing factors: The relationship nurtured by the hiring manager led to their new employee hitting the ground running The private information withheld by the candidate that led to an offer rescinded because she could never have fulfilled the role in the first place The enthusiasm shown by a candidate in post interview communications tipped a decision in their favour Recruitment is risk, filled with bias - that doesn't mean you can't make that work for you. 49 - After the interview In a tough job search, getting to an interview can feel a real achievement. If you’ve been accountable in your applications, only going for roles where you are a strong fit, these are tangible opportunities to secure employment. The interview itself isn’t the be-all and end-all. It’s better to see them as the start of a conversation, one that’s only complete when you either have an acceptable employment contract in your hand, or if it’s an unequivocal no. Continuing this conversation in the right way, and in ways other candidates may not think to, can bring hoped for and unexpected gains. A few weeks back I filled a vacancy which had a strong shortlist. The final three were all employable, and the company would have taken all three had they been able to. The second choice candidate was disappointed and took it well, responding professionally. I worked hard to give all three a good experience with regular updates and constructive feedback. I too was genuinely disappointed for the ‘unsuccessful’ candidates. Two weeks after accepting the offer and returning the signed contract, the first-choice candidate withdrew. She’d received a significantly improved offer having been headhunted. Within two hours of passing the news on to the hiring team, the 2nd choice candidate was offered the role and accepted. How she had responded to her initial disappointment was a key element in this offer being put forward. The same was true of her experience with us in her decision to accept the offer. In many ways an interview is like a sales meeting. One party pitches their offering which might be customised against the questions asked. The other party makes a decision on whether and how to proceed. In an interview both the candidate and employer act as both seller and buyer. As a job seeker you get the final say on whether you say yes, no or something in between. Your decision is influenced by factors you may not divulge to the employer, such as an unexpected intervention (illness, accident, family), personal circumstances or other offers that may come up. It’s the same for the employer. They may have a hierarchy of decision-making, changes in the business and changes outside of the business - many things that can influence an interview decision or time frame, different from what was initially agreed. In sales we know that a deal isn’t agreed upon until the invoice is paid. Even if there is an initial ‘yes’ in a meeting we follow up suitably. Follow-up email to confirm details of the conversation and next steps. Thank you for your time Follow up at the appropriate time to check progress If it’s ‘no right now’, follow up over time to build a relationship until they are ready to buy If it’s ‘no answer’, find appropriate reasons to follow up, ending in a breakup email What this actually looks relates to what their sales (hiring) process is, playing to their rules and breaking those same rules in an appropriate way. In the UK, 61% of private sector employers are SMEs, whereas the vast majority of money is in the corporate space. The differentiator in recruitment is that the more corporate you get, the more transactional and matrix-led recruitment often becomes. Some of the rules of the game will be different. This illustrates how and why things are different depending on the context. Public sector, charities, geography, bias, habit, strategy - these all affect the rules of what appear similar processes from the outside. It’s important not to be cynical or come across as coercive. Respect the process and any rules you learn about. Thank you notes Most of the employers I partner with are interested in candidate feedback and interest post-interview - to help them reach their decision for the right reason. Were you applying directly, their interest in your view would be the same. A naturally written thank you note sent appropriately should not work against you. It might work for you and it’s a situation where someone’s bias can be a benefit. ‘Dear Greg, I wanted to thank you for your time today and the opportunity to interview at ABC Corp. It was a pleasure to meet you and Gary and helpful to understand more about your role and environment. I remain keen and would be delighted to return for the next stage. You mentioned you’ll make a decision by the end of next week and I look forward to hearing from you. Do let me know if I can help with anything - my number is …. Kind regards,’ It’s an opportunity to build on or mitigate inconclusive points in an interview if there’s an example you neglected to share or if you didn’t convey information in the right way. Maybe they let slip they’d be concerned if the role would keep your interest in the long term - why not own this? ‘During the interview you asked if I could see myself in this role long-term. It’s a role I’d enjoy - taking on a hands-on role I can get stuck into is an exciting challenge, while my experience in xxx would be beneficial for yyy.’ Keep it more succinct than my email though. Write it in your own words in a similar tone to how you came across in the interview. Will it make a difference? Only marginally, in some situations. Is it worth doing as a natural way to continue the conversation? I think so. Don’t be disheartened if you don’t get a reply - they may have a policy to follow. And to that coercive point above don’t say ‘I’m the best candidate. You’d be a fool to miss out,’ or something more subtle that might suggest the same. Additional interviews In an ideal world you’d get a full view of the interview process before the interview. Unfortunately some employers enjoy playing a game of interview chicken, revealing more and more interview stages as you go through them. Most are somewhere in between. Try to establish the full process as early as possible in case there is anything that is non-negotiable for you. For example, I know some people categorically do not want to do technical tests or ‘business plan’ style presentations, having had their fingers burnt in the past. It’s your choice what might be a non-negotiable - for any reasonable employer these are typically used as a means for fair assessment. Treat any interview in the same way as the first interview: prepare as fully as possible and assume nothing. Unless you know their hierarchy of decision-making, that new person you meet at fourth stage for an informal chat might well be the person with the final say. Even a social get-together after an offer is put forward might be seen as an assessment. Appropriate follow-ups It’s a careful balance. You want to show you are interested, not desperate. You need an answer, not to be inappropriately intrusive - even if that’s not your intent perception holds weight. Following up in the right way is a good tactic. If you can gain an understanding of their time frames or process work to that. Anything and everything can happen behind the scenes, including unexpected absences. Things can slip in a way employers may not see as notable. A few work days after you were expecting to hear, drop them a polite line. ‘Hi Greg, I wondered if you had any news on how you want to proceed with this role. Is there any update you can share? Kind regards,’ You can play a bit of keeping up with the Joneses if it’s true - ‘I remain interested - I do have two interviews this week with other employers. Would you like me to keep you updated?’ Sometimes no news is no news and you might need to be patient. Eventually you may come to a point where you need a decision from them - such as if your 2nd choice company gives you a job offer. A breakup email can be a good thing. Even if this doesn’t prompt an update or decision from them, you give yourself agency to walk away with no ‘what ifs?’ And if they do come back later, you can make a separate decision on whether to revisit them. One such email might be: ‘Hi Greg, I enjoyed our interview on May 21st. You mentioned you’d reach a decision the following week. Can I assume you have moved forward with another candidate? I’ll draw a line through my application for now and will be happy to pick up our conversations at a later date, if appropriate. Kind regards,’ Written appropriately, there are three outcomes: You get a reply confirming they have appointed You get no reply and can move on You get a reply with more information That last point may be ‘no news’ or something actionable. Sometimes it might even prompt good news. Whatever the outcome, you can move forward. Keeping in touch long-term Sometimes a no might be a ‘no for now’, especially when you are later on in the process, such as being pipped to the post at final interview. If yours is a business as usual role where there are a number of employees fulfilling similar duties in the same company, you may well be suitable for other roles that come up in future. How can you keep in touch appropriately so that you help their decision making when another vacancy comes up? Find reasons to occasionally keep in touch (maybe once every couple of months). If they are active on LinkedIn you could follow their content and add constructive comments. It may come to nothing but it may give you early sight of a new vacancy. If you see another vacancy advertised check it out. Drop them a line directly rather than just apply given you are continuing a conversation rather than coming in cold. And if they reply to say ‘don’t bother’, at least you know.